Thursday, July 15, 2010

Uncharted Waters: Gingers

Yesterday we celebrated Bastille Day and my friend's birthday by going out to trivia at our favorite bar. Since unemployed is still my status, trivia is quickly becoming one of my new hobbies and hopefully one that will produce a man of marriageable material. With that said, I went into the evening with high hopes of meeting a man with the perfect storm of attributes I like: dark complexion, midget, and a red-head. The last detail has been a recent interest of mine, probably stemming from having just traveled to the motherland of gingers, Ireland. Having never dated a ginger, I think it's high time I give them a try.

We sat down in the only place available, seats around the pool table that we then shared with a group of guys. The ginger immediately caught my eye. His height was undetermined, midgety qualities were not apparent but I'd make do. Since he had at least one attribute, I kept my eye on him. Towards the end of the game, he struck up a conversation that I entertained because of my good nature and secret interest in marriage.

He began by guessing my age. Immediately I thought of the circus and was even more intrigued than before. A ginger carney would be a trophy husband for sure. After his tricks, he said something about his job with General Electric, which I then kind of tuned out the details when I noted that he might also be well-off. I thought of how I would tell our children, "Yes, I'm sorry that daddy gave you the ging genes, but he seemed rich when I met him at the bar." Needless to say, I was interested.

The trivia was coming to a close as we wrongly guessed Lady Gaga's real name (I feel like I need to do some sort of penance for this obvious offense...alas..), and the ginger still hadn't made motions toward the bar, but I wasn't too worried because the chemistry outweighed this tight-wad oversight. I could tell my friends were itching to leave and were not as enthralled by his antics as I was, so we decided to leave. I stood up at my humble 5'7" but quickly realized that I had become an amazon.

Carrot top had to have been at most 5'3'' and was NOT a little person. Total deal breaker. I could tell he was a bit aghast as well, or maybe gingers just make that face, but I knew it was time for a quick exit. We bid our entertainer adieu and filed out, still single.

The one thing this interaction taught me was that I need to stand up to correctly gauge a guy's height before engaging him in conversation, especially if he does not appear to be a midget at first glance.

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