Monday, May 2, 2011

Best of the Best

Yet another month has passed without a formal update to my loving followers, but don't worry, this will not disappoint.

I recently had the honor of escorting Berica to a concert that my brother ( bailed on going to. It was Peter, Bjorn and John aka PB&J... I didn't get it till everyone around us started chanting it midconcert. So the show was at the 930 Club, a throw back to my emo days of high school when I went to "shows" every weekend and bought CDs of bands I never heard of just to look cool. Yea, I was that girl at one point and going to this show was an awesome throw back...only difference was the tiny glass of Framboise I sipped for 7 bucks.

Post-show, it was 10 PM and we were waiting to meet our friends out so we looked around the club and saw the band signing stuff so we got in line to kill time. As we stood there chatting about the show or something, the guy in front of us turned around and told us how psyched he was that he got to meet PB&J and how he was going to get them to sign the CD he just bought. He was going on and on about how they would sign RIGHT on the CD...that still had the wrapper on it. Berica said, "You know if they sign it like that, you'll never be able to play it." He looked at us like were Einstein and said "Oh my gosh, you guys are soooo smart!" Now, at this point we should have evacuated the scene and cut our losses, but it still being 10 PM, we were intrigued and continued to talk to Bkevin and also take pictures with him and the band. Luckily, he's conveniently on the end, totally croppable.

After we chatted with the band, we decided to go the gay bar with Bkevin because he said he could get us free drinks because he was getting hit on left and right there before the show. He's what one might call a "bear" but proclaimed that he had a girlfriend, so we decided to go along, it'd be make for a good story in any case.

On the way to the gay bar, we saw a van with its back open and a strobe light and flashing colored lights along with a DJ and people dancing and hula hooping. It seemed like an open invite since most people were in the street, so we decided to stop by. We high fived everyone while hula hooping and making friends. (Later on in the night, I recognized a girl from the van and called out, "Hey Hulahoop!" and she looked at me like I was the nutto who was the one hosting the street party) Needless to say, this impromptu street party was great until someone honked at me as I tried to Skip It with the hulahoop and started into the street. It was time to hit the gay bar.

As soon as we walk in, all eyes are on Bkevin. Berica and I didn't stand a chance next to this dude. We walked upstairs and ended up befriending people that had gone to our college and we didn't know them before. It was fun, until Bkevin decided to have a heart to heart.

While leaning in with a bucket of beer, he says, "Bmelissa, are you trying to make me gay?" Now, at this point, I do realize we are in a gay bar and I wasn't planning on being hit on, but I also wasn't planning on being the source of turning a straight man gay. I've never been accused of turning a straight guy gay, but I can say, like most straight girls in college, have tried to turn a gay guy straight (not possible, just awkward). I didn't know that in a room of hot young studs, a straight guy would look past me and become gay. He then proceeded to say that I had brought him into a room of hot guys and it was just too much. Much to my chagrin, I was told I was turning a guy gay and then he didn't even get us any free drinks!

Berica and I decided to "go to the bathroom" and Bkevin followed...apparently to avoid temptation. As he walked into the men's bathroom, Berica and I peaced out. This kid was obviously confused and I had to wash my hands of single handedly changing a man's sexuality. Unfortunately, we had given him our names to send the picture of us and the band and he eventually Facebook messaged Berica berating her for the abandonment in the bathroom...go figure.

We still had another hour before people were meeting us out, so we started to walk toward food...but then the latin bar struck my fancy. The hot reggaeton beats lured me and and Berica was helpless but to follow. There was just enough room to tango and salsa, and we were the only ones game for the challenge of entertaining the table of people celebrating a birthday. Berica and I danced and twirled and got our Latina princess on for a good 20 minutes...amidst flashes from the paparazzi aka the people at the table flashing photos of two pale chicks making fools of themselves. If I've learned anything from LeeAnn Womack, it was just to dance and that we did.

By this time, we'd worked up quite an appetite and decided to visit Bill Cosby's favorite hot spot in the District...Ben's Chili Bowl. This mess was amazing. I got a hotdog with Ben's chili and it was great. Berica's turkey burger took foooorever so we ended up sitting there for a hot minute. I've always known why Cosby loved jello pudding (I mean, what naturally wriggles but doesn't lose its form? NOTHING but jello pudding!) and now I've gotten the lure of Ben's Chili Bowl. Super delish and the hottest place on a Saturday night.

After eating, it was still too early to meet up with everyone so we decided to go to the bar next door called...Bar Next Door to Ben's Chili Bowl...I kid you not.

As if we hadn't been the minority in the hipster show, the gay bar or the latin bar, we definitely were the minority in this bar. All the tables said "Reserved" but made no inclination of who they were reserved we stood at the bar and waited 10 minutes to be served. I decided earlier in the night that since Bkevin didn't work out to be Berica's husband, that I would take it upon myself to find her a fine brother to procreate with. They weren't lacking at this bar, but we were not the object of their affection. We figured this out when we saw a guy get an eyeful of some girls' rumps and he then caught us seeing him and of course he had to tell Berica that he just couldn't help it...but then ignored us. It was time for a change of scenery.

We had made our rounds of the town and it was now time to meet up with our friends. We finally find the hole in the wall bar they were at that absolutely no one knew was there and felt at home. Although not exactly like Cheers, a few people did know our names and that really counted for something after such a nutzo night.

I can now say that when I leave DC, I wouldn't have missed any of the most famous places. Although I was thoroughly disappointed that Bill wasn't at Ben's and that I didn't get the names of the people who snapped our photos in order to Facebook message THEM, I had a great time and hope Berica saw a side of the town she never knew existed!