Having seen "Inception" twice in one week, it was heavily on my mind as I went out in Madison, Wisconsin. Why Wisconsin? Well, the male population around here is slim to none when it comes to marriageable material, so I packed up my fem weapons and visited my gal pals in Madison with whom I had gone to Peru with almost two years ago. They were certainly aware of my man hunt and wanted to show me what the Cheesy State had to offer, besides curds.
The night started well enough, a fish bowl here, a coke there, and on to the next bar. Our last stop was a bar much akin to one in Chapel Hill, I immediately began my fratstar search. Where there are frat guys, there is money, and where there's money, there is marriage...clearly. I dropped my number to a few guys, flirted my way around, but nothing was very promising...mostly because the only two guys I found attractive were named Justin and Dustin. Even though they didn't know each other (presumably), the rhyming names were too much. We headed home.
As is my vagabond way, I crashed on the couch at Bemily's and Buzanne's apartment (names changed so no one can stalk them). When I awoke, I was no longer on the couch but instead in what can only be described as a "Wisconsin cheese closet" (as I later texted to my friend). There was no light on and I had no idea how I got there. For those of you who have seen "Inception," this immediately startled me and made me think I was in a dream where someone was planting ideas in my head. Of course, if I had no idea how I got there, I couldn't be sleep walking, it HAD to be a dream.
I scrambled around knocking everything down as I searched for the door. I felt the knob...stuck. Complete darkness and a stuck door led to sheer panic. All I could see was the sliver of light peeking between the door and the door frame. I knew my only way out of the dream was to get through this crack and began clawing to no avail. I was NOT going to be stuck in limbo for 50 years. Especially not one in the dark without any hamburgers. I took to banging on the door.
Bemily and Bitika, as sane people would, thought some lunatic was at their front door at 5 AM and tried to ignore the banging...until it got too loud. They finally got up and went to the front door, which lucky for me, was next to the bathroom aka cheese closet I was stuck in.
As they opened the door and I breathed in the freedom of being released, they asked how long I had been in there. All I could say was "A long time..." Another factor leading to the conclusion I was in a dream: I lost track of time and a few minutes lasted hours.
Moral of the story, after watching "Inception" immediately make your own totem so an occurrence such as this does not happen to you.
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