Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Korea, There's An Idea

In an attempt to be witty, I may have actually not rhymed as I hoped in the title of this entry, but I still like it and therefore will use it (so THERE, Bmichelle!).

Anyway, my months of being the ultimate bum are quickly coming to a close as I say bon voyage to myself while embarking on a new chapter in my blogger/real life, but first, a little background.

As an elementary student, day in and day out, I pledged my allegiance to quitting school when I was 16 and joining the circus as a gymnast whose only real talent was rolling around on the floor thinking I was doing a cartwheel (my talents are immortalized in my "MLC Reckless Tour" video which may some day go viral... thank God for my brother and his flare for theatrics). It sounded like a great plan and I believed it would make me money. Then, in third grade, freaking Mrs. Henderson (I think that was her name?) decided to make predictions about everyone in the class and their future careers. My friends got great predictions like model, doctor, geisha. I was eager to see mine.

Instead of recognizing my raw physical talent, Mrs. Henderson saw something in my stellar phonics scores and predicted that I'd be the principal of our Catholic elementary school in our podunk town. WTF? First of all, the principal at the time was a nun with a glass eye and drawing any correlation between me and this closeted lezzy was just wrong. I mean, I did have wide shoulders and maybe a tendency of wearing a habit, but seriously?

While I doubt anyone remembers this scarring prediction, I have fought it tooth and nail since I was 9. Yet, somehow, maybe through God and the grace of that dear Sister "Glasseye" Bjoan, I am entering the education field. But it's not a traditional, go to school to be a teacher type of job; it's teaching English in South Korea.

Now it seems crazy to some, but somehow highly logical to me. I mean, where are gymnasts born? ASIA. If I want to continue to pursue my aforementioned real dream career, I gotta learn from the best. Like I said, it's logical, right?

But on the real... I'm about to leave everyone I know and love while following the path I have tried to avoid my entire life: becoming a teacher. I know it's not Sister Bjoan-like to go to Asia to teach and it possibly won't put me back in Bmacon schooling chillans at my old elementary, but the similarities are becoming too eerie for me to handle. She was a teacher (or at least I am assuming she was...don't principals have to be teachers at some point?) and I'm becoming a teacher; if I keep mysteriously getting pink eye, I may lose an eye ball and gain a chunk of rolling glass; the only thing really missing is a large, mullety lady love with whom I go on "outings" to the local seafood restaurant. Too bad my mullety lover would be male and therefore unacceptable.

I guess the only real question is: when will I get thee to a nunnery? Do people even become nuns anymore? You just don't see 20 year old chicks romping around in a flying nun outfit with the lepers like you used to. At one point, I thought I could become a nun, but at another point I also thought that I may be the second coming of Christ. I mean really, if you're going to tell kids that anybody could be Jesus, how are they not supposed to think that they themselves can be Him and thus try to heal a scratch procured from the playground? The things Catholic school does to you.

Again, I lose my focus as I get wrapped up in my fear of the nunnery and being a principal. (Seriously, Mrs. Henderson, your predictions were both jarring and traumatic.) We shall see if South Korea either gives me an Asian, mullet-bearing manfriend or has already reserved a spot for me in the convent...

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